i know i’m going to sound like a total whiner but i came back to canada to experience the nice warm summers in canada that are not too hot but NO i was wrong. this morning i wake up to 10 degrees -_- and it’s only suppose to go up to 20 today. i guess i might just have to move to california? the search for the place with perfect weather =P although i do have to say it’s pretty nice how they have make up holidays in canada when the public holiday falls on a sunday they make monday holiday too. nope, never going to see that in hong kong.
honestly i don’t know what i’m doing back in kingston. i mean i told everyone that i’m going to find a job and work which is 100% true, but i really could have done that in hong kong? and yes the pay is higher in canada but also the standard of living, but then i suppose i do spend a lot more in hong kong since there’s nothing really to spend your money on in kingston. BAH. sometimes i don’t understand these decisions of mine lol. big part of me wants to stay in hong kong, to spend more time with my friends and family there, in which i definetly did not have enough time there with certain friends or anytime with some friends at all!! but the insecure part of me i suppose kept tugging me to go back to kingston. hong kong by now is like a transition place where i’m just there for a few months and then i’m gone. during these 4 yrs of university it’s just been very temporary and i feel like i just want to settle down and know where i’m going to be for the next few years at least but i guess i can’t and i won’t know. living in rez for a year and then having to move out, going back to hong kong for the summer only to know that you’re leaving soon. just knowing that you’re going to pick up and leave kinda puts me at the edge of my seat, not allowing myself to fully plunge into things and fully enjoy them i think. bah. i guess this is what happens when you study abroad. or maybe i’m just being a spoiled brat. haha. either way, there was my little rant that is quite incoherent.
and did i mention? i hate goodbyes. it’s like everytime i go home, there’s less of a chance i’ll be seeing those wonderful home friends. yes i’m emo like that. i leave kingston and miss my queens’ friends. i leave hong kong and miss my home friends. toronto people are so lucky =P
yesterday i went peoples’ church in torontoand the dude that was speaking talked about that passage about “let your yes be yes and no be no” and i found it pretty interesting because i’ve definetly read that passage a few times, but never fully understood what it meant. one thing that stuck with me was that so many sins that are commonly addressed are not the actual problem that have to be fixed, but are a reflection of deeper roots of evil. such as adultery is a lack of loyalty/honestly and stuff like that. so many times we screw up and then immediately tackle the problem that is in front of us, but end up screwing up over and over again and it’s not until we muster up our courage and allow God to show us what’s really inside of us, then we can address the problems. it’s like in this book i’ve been reading called “The gift of being yourself” how you can’t really allow God to transform you and change you into a new person until you are willing to face the person you really are inside. i feel like this all sounds so elementary but it’s all so true.
it looks so pretty outside right. i doubt it’s warm but maybe i’ll pretend. peace out everyone!
July 3, 2007 at 12:31 pm |
Vancouver is not too hot in the summer and not too cold in winter…just right!
and one still is able to experience 4 seasons!
“‘Know yourself’ is good advice. But to know ourselves doesn’t mean to analyze ourselves. Sometimes we want to know ourselves as if we were machines that could be taken apart and put back together at will. At certain critical times in our lives it may be helpful to explore in some detail the events that led us to our crises, but we make a mistake when we think that we can completely understand ourselves and explain the full meaning of our lives to others.
Solitude, Silence, and prayer are often the best ways to self-knowledge. Not because they offer solutions for the complexity of our lives but because they bring us in touch with our sacred centre, where God dwells. That sacred centre may not be analyzed. It is the place of adoration, thanksgiving, and praise.
…when we trust that our souls are embraced by a loving God, we can befriend ourselves and reach out to others in loving relationships.”
-Henri Nouwen
Hope you’ll have more ‘ideal’ weather
-peace be with you
July 4, 2007 at 10:08 am |
yay! =) peoples church! i miss the green sanctuary. well the stage is green at any rate. anyhow… i’m sorry i didn’t get to see youuu!! if i come to kingston this summer, which i shall very well try to (but i’ll be with my parents) i’ll try and come and see you! how could i go to kingston and not hang out at 41 clergy? i actually miss kingston a lot. but yeah it is a blessing living in toronto, i must say. take care and lol i love the post about the cockroaches. i also like the triumphat WHOO! you gave when the cockroach died. the picture of the repellent is a bonus too =)
miss you cho kan =) take care!!! say hi to kingston (and stephen) for me =)
July 5, 2007 at 1:58 am |
hahah im supageee on xanga cuz i tried to be cool lol doesnt geeee kinda sound funny
i dont even like supaceee anymore
i should change it to deee-licious
hahah i cant believe we missed each other u went to kingston i went out
anyhooz i hopeee you have fun w/ stephen, like playin settlers and stuff : ) hehehe
see you soon i hoope : )
dee-licious ; ) muhahqahaq
July 5, 2007 at 8:45 am |
word.
& i totally underpacked for vancouver
i froze for a week.