i know i’m going to sound like a total whiner but i came back to canada to experience the nice warm summers in canada that are not too hot but NO i was wrong. this morning i wake up to 10 degrees -_- and it’s only suppose to go up to 20 today. i guess i might just have to move to california? the search for the place with perfect weather =P although i do have to say it’s pretty nice how they have make up holidays in canada when the public holiday falls on a sunday they make monday holiday too. nope, never going to see that in hong kong.
honestly i don’t know what i’m doing back in kingston. i mean i told everyone that i’m going to find a job and work which is 100% true, but i really could have done that in hong kong? and yes the pay is higher in canada but also the standard of living, but then i suppose i do spend a lot more in hong kong since there’s nothing really to spend your money on in kingston. BAH. sometimes i don’t understand these decisions of mine lol. big part of me wants to stay in hong kong, to spend more time with my friends and family there, in which i definetly did not have enough time there with certain friends or anytime with some friends at all!! but the insecure part of me i suppose kept tugging me to go back to kingston. hong kong by now is like a transition place where i’m just there for a few months and then i’m gone. during these 4 yrs of university it’s just been very temporary and i feel like i just want to settle down and know where i’m going to be for the next few years at least but i guess i can’t and i won’t know. living in rez for a year and then having to move out, going back to hong kong for the summer only to know that you’re leaving soon. just knowing that you’re going to pick up and leave kinda puts me at the edge of my seat, not allowing myself to fully plunge into things and fully enjoy them i think. bah. i guess this is what happens when you study abroad. or maybe i’m just being a spoiled brat. haha. either way, there was my little rant that is quite incoherent.
and did i mention? i hate goodbyes. it’s like everytime i go home, there’s less of a chance i’ll be seeing those wonderful home friends. yes i’m emo like that. i leave kingston and miss my queens’ friends. i leave hong kong and miss my home friends. toronto people are so lucky =P
yesterday i went peoples’ church in torontoand the dude that was speaking talked about that passage about “let your yes be yes and no be no” and i found it pretty interesting because i’ve definetly read that passage a few times, but never fully understood what it meant. one thing that stuck with me was that so many sins that are commonly addressed are not the actual problem that have to be fixed, but are a reflection of deeper roots of evil. such as adultery is a lack of loyalty/honestly and stuff like that. so many times we screw up and then immediately tackle the problem that is in front of us, but end up screwing up over and over again and it’s not until we muster up our courage and allow God to show us what’s really inside of us, then we can address the problems. it’s like in this book i’ve been reading called “The gift of being yourself” how you can’t really allow God to transform you and change you into a new person until you are willing to face the person you really are inside. i feel like this all sounds so elementary but it’s all so true.
it looks so pretty outside right. i doubt it’s warm but maybe i’ll pretend. peace out everyone!
Posted by chokan 