leaving home to return…”home”?

so after 5 hrs of delay and $75hkd of food coupon, me, alvi and beni were finally able to board and head back to canadaland. and now we’re all super jetlaged, woke up at around 6am. and that’s a bit of an update to my interesting life.

mm…recap of hong kong.

this was an interesting 7 wks in hk, although a bit too short if you ask me. when i booked my flight i didn’t realize that stupid American universities get out so late and therefore didn’t end up getting to meet up with some people much, or at all! it was nice nonetheless. being in university and living with some great friends is definetly a blessing, but i suppose for me at least it’s nice to have some alone time. and i really enjoyed that alone time i got in hong kong. wandering around the streets of hong kong, being able to flood myself with memories and get lost in my thoughts. it was all a bit nice until i got bored of myself and started feeling a bit desperate for human interaction which did come. in the midst of reunions and dinners and catching up with friends, it was also nice to catch the few familiar faces from Queens and be the tour guide (that i think i should do as a summer job, seriously -_-).

 either way, i’m back in canada now and all that nostalgic talk is making me a bit homesick. but still i am excited for nice weather?? and ofcourse seeing all you Queens people. yes i will be cliche and say that time sure flies, and i can’t believe i’m going into 3rd year. i think real life is upon too soon. being back home was a nice reminder of what it was like back in the day, when parents did everything for you and you were free to dream, to dream to be anything you wanted, before you had to pick a major. i think that was one of the reasons why i enjoyed high school so much. i got to do most of the subjects that i like! i guess when i was kid i wanted to do whatever i thought was fun, i found brooms fun, so i wanted to be a street sweeper, or i loved the flashing lights and wailing sirens of firetrucks and then i wanted to be a firewoman (thanks caren for that firetruck from that one time lol). but by now i guess i’m well on my road to becoming a psychology major. one thing’s for sure though, to not stop dreaming, even now. i guess it’s a different type of dreaming, more of a what i’m actually going to do with my life more than what could be. either way, i like dreaming =P makes the real world a bit more interesting sometimes.

i miss you guys already =(

you know you’re from hong kong when….

inspired by tammy’s posts of lists…i decided to make my own

1. you know to avoid puddles because that’s where water drips from aircons
2. you bring an umbrella and a zip up in case of sudden rain or freezing malls
3. you bring tissue incase you need to go badly and there are only sketchy toilets around
4. what’s a liquor store? don’t you just go to a supermarket…
5. you rarely pay more than $5cnd/$35hkd for the average meal
6. burger king and krispy kreme are rare luxuries
7. pouring rain doesn’t stop you from going out, it’ll subside in the next 5-10min
8. hearing English always makes you turn around a locate the speaker
9. you rarely say you’re from China
10. you get impatient if the kcr/mtr takes longer than 3min to arrive

untitled.

so the cockroach died! woohoo!

i think the ozone layer just got a little thinner.

so at church the other day, the pastor was talking about believing, belonging, and becoming and he challenged the church with something that i thought was pretty cool. “instead of trailing culture, the church should be what culture looks to as the example”

hrmm…

other than that..
i’ll be back in the land of the maple leaf and beavers playing hockey in about a wk…

-peas.

i hate cockroaches

i found a cockroach sitting on top of my brush.
someone remind me to not brush my hair tmr morning

so here’s the story:

i’m talking on the phone, and to my horror i discover a cockroach lying on my brush on my table IN MY ROOM!!! so i grab my dad but when he tries to kill that sucker, he misses and it runs into the corner of my desk. so i used the longest umbrella i could find and hit the cardboard that is at the corner of my desk until the cardboard fell, and then i saw something else fall…

so i poked in that direction and sure enough it was the cockroach!! so i jumped back and and screamed. i hear my sleepy mom groan to my dad from their bedroom…

“oh..it’s the cockroach, you deal with it. i’m sleeping”

we didn’t have those insect pesticide thingys…so we used the air freshener lol.

but the cockroach was too fast and we couldn’t find where it’s new hiding spot was…

so soon to be a night of possibly sleeping on the couch in the living room…the cockroach suddenly runs out of my room, i jump back so far i could’ve beaten the long jump world record and it skirts behind the piano in the living room. AND I HOPE IT STAYS THERE AND DIES. but wait…some of my stuff is where the piano is. so i moved that too. just incase i accidentally pack a cockroach to canada. =P

i think i have a fear of anything that cockroaches touch…

so now i’m half on the computer, half staring at the piano, guarding my room with dear life in hopes of possibly attaining a good night’s rest. i think my mind is psychologically killing me right now with tingles in my legs that make me jump everytime.

i am reminded of why i want to move to canada.

the end.

this verse keeps popping up:

Be kind and compassionate to one another,  forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
-eph. 4:32

thanks seas/stephen

i guess so many times that’s how God feels . disappointment with our choices, but despite knowing better, He has the patience and the love to allow us to sit through our choices, sometimes maybe it be years before we finally learn our lesson. i need to learn to love more. i always need to learn to love more.

it rained today. now the weather is nice and cool. i am happy.  

…and here’s to my popular commenter

have a great day everyone!

thanks!

just want to say thanks to everyone for all the birthday wishes. and for reminding me that i’m old. yes. thanks for that too. hahaha. i am truly blessed to have you guys as my friends …you know who you are!

=)

oh and special thanks to jane making my special day specialer =P and for taking all those pics!

love and fear.

just a few things i’ve been learning from the same book i mentioned below.

“acknowledging your fear heps to meet GOd in our places of deep vulnerability, which helps us to meet ohters with greater honestly and humility”
“energy maintaining safety and comfort always depletes energy available for love for others”
“the guilty self feels that it deserves punishment. it also feels like a dangerous self. Unconscious guilt makes me feel that i have to withdraw from others lest i damage them by my love. This leads to self preoccupation, and leads to serious impairment of ability to give or receive love.”
- as a result, our love is limited, we receive and give love in measured doses

i guess throughout my ranging teen yrs w/ my raging hormones i’ve always been very insecure about who i am or was or yeah. i think a lot of it was just fear of what people would think if they knew who i really was inside. maybe it stemmed from a dislike for myself. i mean if i didn’t like myself, why would others? and i suppose how much i mattered to God didnt’ really click until this past year where God totally kicked me in the face and made me realize how much i can be secure in Him and love myself the way He loves me.

i guess i always thought of myself as relatively outgoing. not TOO socially awkward, and able to carry on a conversation some of the time. but a few friends at Queens that i am so thankful for have really challenged me to open up, which has forced me to dig inside to see who i really am, someone who i’ve been trying to avoid facing. so many things that i’ve built up as who i thought i was were only walls to guard from fear of who i really was inside.

i think i should stop before this turns into an emo posting when it’s not! i’m trying to say what i’ve learnt! just want to thank my friends at Queens. love you guys so much!!!

on a less..heavy note…APPARENTLY…
1. hong kong contains the place w/ the highest human population density in the world – none other than mong kok
2. if global warming keeps up in it’s progress, hk is going to have no winter (not that it really does anymore) in 50 yrs. kinda scary thought. i think i’m moving to toronto. haha.

nonetheless. i love hong kong.

goals of the summer

BAH

does anyone know how to turn off the comment moderator on wordpress?? i thought i had turned it off…and i coudln’t find it on google! it’s bugging me…

some thoughts…

i think one big misconception regarding christianity is the fact that we are ashamed and sometimes even afraid to run to God or to ask for help from the Christian church whenever we screw up. i always find that “going back” to God after not doing devos for a while or after i’ve done something that i shouldn’t have was the hardest and usually the biggest hindrance! which is ridiculous b/c it is when we sin and when we stray from God that we need Him the most, yet ironically it is in those instances that we build the biggest wall between us and God. maybe it’s our human way of trying to create justice in the face of a gracious God?

 i’m reading this book called ’surrender to love’ by David Benner (who is by the way a christian psychologist author…perfect for me haha!) who begins the book by addressing that problem. he drew this analogy about how kids, disappoint their parents, they screw up and hurt their parents, but that is rarely what parents think about all the time! in the same manner, we commonly have this misconception of God being preoccupied with our shortcomings and as i mentioned before, act as major hindrances in our relationship with Him.

for the first time i suppose the story of the prodigal son actually sunk in. GOd is hurt when we turn away from Him, but the moment we decide to go back, He is overwhelmed with love for us.

don’t get me wrong, i’m not in any way down playing sin. i remember my youth pastor once said that God chooses to forgive us, but that does not excuse us from the consequences of sin.